


I've Thought A Lot About Hope

by Skriiven



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Feels, Humanstuck, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-13
Updated: 2013-06-13
Packaged: 2017-12-14 21:55:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/841811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skriiven/pseuds/Skriiven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The air smelt of pine as they walked beneath the tall trees, the silence of the night interrupted only by the chirping of crickets.  A firefly perched on Cronus’ sleeve and he smirked at it, even insects couldn’t resist his charm.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've Thought A Lot About Hope

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because I needed some fluffy feels. Simply set in an alternate, modern, humanstuck universe. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Characters © Hussie

Cronus looked at himself in the mirror, dark eyes staring back nervously. He smoothed his hair one more time, not that it did much. Apparently his hair decided to misbehave today of all days, and his normally sleek locks had a slight wave about them, curls threatening to break through.

“Oh fuck it,” Cronus glared at the mirror, giving up trying to smooth it down. Maybe it was a sign. Maybe tonight wasn’t the night and he should wait.

No, he couldn’t chicken out, who knows when he’d get another chance at this. He couldn’t back out or he’d never forgive himself. 

Shit that just made him more nervous.

His fingers fumbled at the buttons of his violet shirt, the only nice one he owned. The only reason he even had it was because Meenah had tried to pimp him out a year ago. Regardless of the less than desirable circumstances of its origin, he was glad he had it. The violet complimented his olive skin nicely, not to mention it showed off his figure. All that work at the shop was paying off. 

He tucked the shirt into his dark pants, giving one more angry stare at his hair before slipping on shoes and grabbing a tie.

Never thought he’d have to use it, he’d bought the tie as a joke. He opened up his laptop, skimming through the Internet to find instructions on how to put it on.

“Kinda like a shoelace, huh?” He muttered, clumsily tying it and then having to redo it several times until it looked right. 

He turned to the mirror in his room and let out a deep breath. “You can do this Cronus.” He motivated himself, pointing at his reflection, “You’re gonna woo his ass straight to tomorrow. There’s no way he could turn you down. You’ve got this.”

These words would have been more comforting had he not noticed he’d buttoned his shirt unevenly.

“Fffffff, come on, get it together chief.” He fixed it, tucking his shirt back in and checking himself over for any other mishaps. Seeing none he glanced at the clock and grimaced, his stomach threatening to make him sick. He was out of time to waste. 

He leaned over his desk to open the side drawer, moving a few pages of blank music sheets to grab a small box. He slid it in his pocket, patting it a few times as he left the room to look around the apartment for his guitar. 

“Aha, there you are baby.” He spotted it propped up against a cabinet in the kitchen, probably left there after a sudden burst of inspiration during his midnight snack. “Alright, now where’s your case? We’ve got an important night tonight.” He strummed a few strings as he talked to it, walking towards the black case he spotted on the couch. 

He slid the instrument gently inside, latching the silver clasps and running a hand lovingly over the rough exterior. The case had been a gift from Kankri last Christmas, after seeing how beat up his old one was. He grabbed the strap, throwing it over his shoulder before snatching his keys and heading out. He stopped by his next-door neighbor, knocking a few times on the door and stepping back to wait for an answer.

There was the pounding sound of running little feet, and the door swung open to reveal a smiling girl who wasn’t much older than ten. Her brother was latched onto the skirt of her dress, peeking out.

“Dad, Cronus is here!” She called out, giving Cronus a thumbs-up; her smile causing dimples to appear in her plump cheeks. Did Egbert tell them? He couldn’t keep anything a secret from his kids. Not that Cronus minded, he loved Jane and John; he babysat them on a regular basis and was extremely fond of the little tykes.

The familiar father figure in a fedora came up behind her, a wicker basket in his hands, passing it off to Cronus. The top was covered with a stereotypical red and white-checkered blanket and Cronus winced.

“Seriously pops? Don’t you think that’s a little… I dunno, uncool?” 

Mr. Egbert smiled, “Leave it to you to call me out on my uncoolness, sorry son but this is the best I can give you. Besides, it’s kind of a classic, back in my day it was considered a staple to any sort of picnic affair.” 

“But you’re old dad!” Jane laughed and John held a hand to his mouth to hide his smile. Mr. Egbert gave her a rueful grin, ruffling his both his kids’ wild, black hair.

“Why don’t you two young whippersnappers go and set the table.” He said in a dry and creaky voice, the same voice he used to tease old Grandpa Harley down the street. Jane giggled some more and left with John, the two of them racing to the kitchen. “Don’t forget extra settings for the Striders!” The kids probably would have done that anyways, the Striders were regular visitors to the Egbert household.

“Thanks Egbert, really, this means a lot to me.” Cronus said, grateful to the older man for going through all that trouble of making him a meal, even though Mr. Egbert has insisted on it. Cronus could only cook seafood and that wasn’t what you’d really want to bring to a romantic evening out by the lake.

“Good luck son.” Mr. Egbert clapped him on the shoulder reassuringly, “I’m sure that boyfriend of yours will love it.”

Cronus smiled, hooking the basket in his elbow and waving bye as he left down the stairs. He considered taking his motorcycle, but Kankri didn’t live that far away, plus it’d be awkward to carry the basket on it as well as another person. 

And don’t even get him started on the helmet hair.

He began his walk down the sidewalk, streetlights casting a warm glow around him. In his head he rehearsed each word, each move he’d make. Oh man, he didn’t know about this. The knot in his stomach wouldn’t leave and the box in his pocket was starting to feel heavy. 

What if he said no?

 _What if you just look like an idiot because he doesn’t like you that much and you reveal that you’re just a hopelessly in love fool?_

No, he felt the same way, he assured Cronus of that a couple days ago. Cronus just couldn’t help but irrationally second guess himself. He let out a breath, wishing he could smoke right now. Kankri made him promise not to smoke anymore and he’d been clean for half a year now. 

Cronus rolled his eyes, the things he did for that man.

But it was hard to deny him. The ways his eyes would shine when Cronus complied to do one of his many pointless requests. He was so bright and beautiful. How he bit his lip nervously when he wanted to ask something but didn’t know how to say it. His smile when Cronus would listen to him. The way his hands never stopped moving while he spoke. He’d go into preacher mode if you let him talk long enough. Cronus was pretty sure he could go on forever, but that was okay, because Cronus would listen to him until the end of time. 

Cronus had no idea why the guy was with some one like him. 

Hell, he didn’t even have a college diploma, having gone straight from high school to work in the mechanic shop in the next town over. There was also an age difference, though that was a given considering they’d met in high school when Kankri was his guidance counselor. 

Those had been fun times.

Well, he supposed the times were even more fun, now that Kankri was all his own and they didn’t have to sneak around school with a hidden relationship. 

He was getting off track.

Kankri’s door loomed in front of him, a seemingly innocent house squeezed between a coffee shop and a bookstore. He knocked on the door, knuckles brushing against the faded paint in short succession. 

The door opened quickly, Kankri on the other side of it with a pleased smile on his face at the sight of Cronus. “Well don’t you look dandy, and is that a picnic basket and a guitar I see? What could my handsome knight be planning for tonight, I wonder at the ideas.” 

Cronus grinned, “Don’t even say anythin’ about the blanket, I know that’s what you’re gonna attack next.”

“You know me so well.”

Cronus held out his hand and Kankri grasped it with a familiar ease, intertwining their fingers. He shut the door behind him, nudging it for a second to make sure the lock actually stuck, before allowing Cronus to lead him to the sidewalk. 

They walked down the street at a leisurely pace. “So, really, what do you have planned for tonight? This is a rare occasion, you being so sweet and all. And you seem particularly dressed up.” Kankri questioned, giving a sidelong glance to Cronus whose face seemed to be unnaturally impassive.

_What if he figures it out before you ask the question? What if he doesn’t like it? What if he accidentally falls in the lake and then you have to end the night early and he gets hypothermia and you never get to ask him and then he dies and your world ends because the one guy you’ve ever loved left you and-_

“Hello? Cronus? What’s going on in that head of yours, normally you’d make at least ten sexual innuendos by now. You’re slacking. Although of course I’m not particularly displeased by that considering you’re jokes are more of a particular taste, which I have none of. Seriously, Cro, are you feeling okay? We don’t have to do anything tonight. We can just watch that Deep Seas special that you’ve been wanting to see and snuggle on the couch. I wouldn’t mind.”

“Hm? What, no. No, we’re goin’ to the lake, I got distracted, I was just, um, thinkin’ about a movie I saw the other day with the guys.”

“Was it one of Bro’s ‘ironic’ anime movies? I swear that’s all that man ever watches, at his age he should have at least seen Titanic or Pride and Prejudice, the BBC version of course. Did you know, the last time I talked to him he compared my hair to a character in a show apparently about superhero cats. I swear, all he likes to do is tease me, I’m pretty sure we have not had one conversation that didn’t involve some cartoon reference or another.” Kankri complained. He and Bro had a love/hate relationship. Cronus knew for a fact that Bro only talked about anime around Kankri because he knew it annoyed the guy. 

Cronus laughed, “And what about your movie choices? I think Karkat’s love of romcoms has infected you if those are your two ‘must see’ movies.”

“They’re classics.”

“Sure, chief, whatever you say.”

Kankri pouted at him, but the corners of his lips soon quirked up into a smile. He released Cronus’ hand in favor of pulling the proffered arm around his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around his boyfriend’s waist, settling a hand comfortably on his hip. In the perfect position, he reached up on his toes for a quick moment to place a kiss on Cronus’ cheek, laughing as the short whiskers tickled his lips. “I love you Cronus.” 

Another thing he loved about Kankri, his spontaneity.

“I love you too Kan.” Cronus smiled down at him, the knot in his stomach slowly loosening. He played idly with Kankri’s hair while they walked, running his fingers through the dark, soft curls. “Have you ever thought about the future?” Cronus posed the question, trying to make it sound nonchalant.

“Well, I don’t know. I guess I focus more on the present, why?”

“No reason really, but I’m curious, like, what do you see yourself doin’ in ten years?”

“What are you, a high school questionnaire?” Kankri teased, chuckling at Cronus’ blush, “I suppose I don't see myself doing anything really different. I’ll still be a counselor, hopefully I’ll still have all my hair, although with you around I might go prematurely bald.” Kankri looked up at the sky while he thought, “I’d kind of like to have kids though, maybe start up a family, I’m thinking two girls and a boy. We’ll adopt them of course. I should have finally painted the kitchen by then as well, my house should be looking pretty spiffy in ten years. That is, of course, if I don’t win the lottery and we move to Scotland. That might disrupt the kids school life though, what if they make friends? Oh no, what if they don’t make friends? What if our kids are hopeless aquatic geeks and are teased because their aunt Porrim likes to make their sweaters too big? Oh dear, Cronus, the future makes me nervous.”

Cronus couldn’t quite keep the smile off his face as he listened to Kankri rant, “So I’m in your future eh?” He questioned, the smile full blown on his face now. There was no hiding it.

“Well of course, I mean, unless you’re planning on going somewhere. Are you going someplace? I thought we agreed that we’d go to Scotland together, you better not be going with Bro. I know the guy has a lot of money Cronus, but you promised.”

Cronus laughed, “No I’m not goin’ anywhere, especially not with Bro. He’d probably end up using me as an actor in one of his weird puppet films anyway. I’ll stay right by your side, forever and ever.” His voice turned syrupy at the end and he mushed his face into Kankri’s curls. Kankri laughed, pushing him away.

They reached the lake, taking one of the small dirt pathways that curved from the street to the shore. The air smelt of pine as they walked beneath the tall trees, the silence of the night interrupted only by the chirping of crickets. A firefly perched on Cronus’ sleeve and he smirked at it, even insects couldn’t resist his charm. Everything was going to be okay.

He set his guitar case and basket down, pulling out the checkered blanket and shaking it out to lie on the grass. There was no one around, just the still water before them and the illuminated forest behind. This time of night most people were fast asleep. 

Kankri sat down, his legs tucked under him in a proper manner. He looked at Cronus expectantly when he didn’t immediately pull out the food. Cronus was staring into the basket with a sense of disbelief, before he started to laugh and shut the lid. Inside laid a cake with the words _“If you’re reading this, that means Cronus finally got the balls to propose. I’m so proud of you, son, congratulations.”_ delicately iced across it. He’d have to wait to see what Kankri’s answer was before they could eat. 

Damn you Egbert.

“So, um, before we eat and all,” There was that knot in his stomach again, coming back with a vengeance, “I want to show you this new song I wrote.” Cronus rubbed his chin nervously before leaning over to open his guitar case and picking up the instrument. His hands were starting to shake but he cleared his throat and settled the guitar on his knee, strumming a few chords.

He began the first measure but then stopped suddenly. To his horror, and slightly morbid amusement, one of the guitar strings snapped. He froze with eyes wide at the sudden, discordant sound.

_Oh shit oh shit oh shit, I knew my hair was right, I should have saved this for some other time, obviously all signs are pointing to no._

_All right, calm down; don’t let your surprise show on your face._

_It’s okay, you can fix this, improvise Ampora. Who needs a D string anyways?_

“Um, you can always show me tomorrow too.” Kankri was a little worried at the look on Cronus’ face. He was looking like this was a life or death situation.

Cronus looked up at him in surprise and then smiled, even though he felt like doing anything but. “Nah, it’s okay chief, I want to do this now. I figured that string would break pretty soon anyway.” _I just didn’t expect it to be right now._

He strummed the guitar again. He’d be fine, he could do this, improvisation was his thing. He began once more.

_I’ve thought a lot about hope_  
What it means to you and me  
How different it makes us  
Just like the land and the sea 

_You hope that the sun will shine_  
Or that the clouds will come with rain  
You hope for other’s joy  
You hope to take away their pain 

_You hope without abandon_  
Like an ocean, without an end  
It’s as if you wish to heal the world  
With your hope, all the wounds would mend 

_I wish I could hope the same as you_  
But I’m a little more low tide  
My hope serves a singular purpose  
That I hope you will abide 

_I hope that in the future_  
When we’re old, wrinkled, and grey  
That you’ll be by my side  
And there you’ll forever stay 

_I guess what I’m trying to say_  
In a roundabout way you see  
I’m hopin’ that you’ll say yes  
When I ask you to marry me 

Cronus let the lingering notes fade, looking up into Kankri’s eyes with the fear of rejection before slowly setting his guitar down and reaching into his pocket. Kankri was biting his lip, his eyes starting to water a bit. That was a good sign, right?

Cronus swallowed, the lump in his throat was painful. He brought out the box; opening it to reveal the plain ring he’d bought a couple weeks before. He hadn’t thought about it then, but maybe Kankri would want something more decorated? Oh god what if it didn’t fit?! It’s too late to back out now, he looked Kankri in the eyes, “So what do you think love? Will you marry me?” 

The next thing he knew he was lying on his back, the full force of Kankri having toppled him over. His lips were being attacked ecstatically and it was all Cronus could do to get out a, “Is that a yes?”

“Till we’re old, wrinkled, and grey. Yes.” Kankri nuzzled into him, and Cronus laughed, pulling him closer and squeezing with all his might till Kankri yelled ‘Uncle’. 

“Well no wonder you were all dressed up!” Kankri said later, as they lay on the blanket, half eaten cake forgotten to the side. Kankri had gotten a kick out of it, saying that he’d have to send his compliments to the chef.

“I dress up for other dates.”

“Not with a tie, the tie adds an extra level of fancy.”

“A good kind of fancy? Like oh my god my fiancée is hot kind of fancy?”

“Like a you should definitely wear it more often kind of fancy, my fiancée looks very sexy all dressed up.”

Cronus smiled, “I’ll take note of that, Kankri has a tie fetish. Now I know I’m in the clear for lookin’ good on our weddin’ day. Think you’ll wear a dress again and please my Kankri in feminine wear fetish?”

“What is that ‘again’? That was one time, and you and Porrim double-teamed me while I was drunk! No, we are both wearing suits and will look like dapper young gentlemen.” Kankri hit him in the shoulder.

“Lame.” Cronus rolled his eyes, laughing when Kankri hit him again. 

Fireflies floated above them, mixing with the stars. Cronus wondered briefly how everything could have gone right. How he ended up like this, lying here with the man of his dreams, so happy and content. He turned to look at Kankri who was gazing at the sky, enraptured by the sight. 

“I love you, so much.” Cronus said quietly.

“I love you too, but I’m still not wearing a dress.”

“Dammit.”


End file.
